May, 10, 2014
It always takes a while to get my body adjusted. It takes longer to “process” (what does that
word even mean?) all the events that happened.
I am still amazed by the people we visit. The resiliency and beauty and courage I see
in each of their faces stand in contrast to the most horrific events I have ever
heard spoken. Then, there are our
friends who work with ALARM. They serve the
afflicted every day. Some lead
conferences, some pastor, some drive, some clean. But, they all serve. They serve their African brothers and sisters
even when they could leave. They serve
the prisoners, the sick, the dying, the hungry, the orphans, and, they serve
us. And, they teach us. I find it more ironic every year when I am
asked “what did you do?” and I respond with some version of “we taught on
______”. I don’t want to belittle what
we teach them. I only mean to elevate
what they teach us! Loving your enemies
means more than an opposing political party or an estranged relationship or a
competitor. Doing unto the “least of
these” is more than a field trip to the city once every so often to serve. Forgiving means more than a co-worker with
whom one has a difficult past. They blow
me away. They challenge me. They move me.
They are heroes and friends and family.
I love them dearly. And, I miss
them. Praise God for bringing them into
my life.
Friday (4/25/2014)
We are all here at DFW Airport, Mary, Barb, Lindsey, Marsha
and myself. It was cool to have friends
and family come see us off. We will fly
to New York, then to Amsterdam, then to Kigali, Rwanda where we will spend the
night. The next day, we will make the
3-4 hour drive to Goma, Congo. It is a
long trip distance-wise. It is a longer
one emotionally. Shortcomings of western
culture that I so quickly embrace will be made obvious, again. The ways I spend time and money will be challenged. The American tribes that are subtle will
become more blatant. Still, all that
matters will be that we will leave ourselves and our lives and be present with
our African brothers and sisters. It is
the incarnational aspect of ministry.
Maybe the most challenging; definitely the richest.
Saturday (4/26/2014)
We arrived pretty much on time and got to our guest
house. This is the first time the others
have seen Africa. Too bad it is
dark. Tomorrow.
Sunday (4/27/2014)
We woke up and made the drive through western Rwanda to the
Congo border. The team got to see the
countryside of Rwanda, often referred to as “a land of a thousand hills”. The drive through the hills was beautiful as
were the hundreds of people we passed who were walking on the street carrying
water, sticks, food, and even children. It
is amazing how each year, more and more development and restoration happens in
Rwanda. Electricity is making it deeper
to the rural areas. Light posts are
beginning to go up on the travelled roads.
Houses and businesses are being built.
We arrived in Goma and saw the ALARM staff. The difference between Congo and Rwanda is vast. One country saw genocide 20 years ago; the
other has seen war ever since. One country
continues to be strengthened and rebuilt while the other receives wounds that
are too deep to put words to. These are
generalizations, but they are obvious. We
saw dear friends to me; new friends to those I travelled with. Stories told meet faces. Emails exchanged on plans and curriculum meet
voices. We are together. We visited the ALARM office and worked out
logistics for the week. Then, we went to
the Catholic Guest House, where we will stay.
It is really tranquil and borders Lake Kivu. We are all adjusting fine. Tomorrow, we meet many new friends and begin
teaching.
Monday (4/28/2014)
Today we met 100 women all of whom are victims of
trauma…with the vast majority being sexual trauma in the war that has waged
here for 15 years claiming over 5 million lives lost and millions of others
lives wounded. One may wonder why a man
makes this trip at all. Admittedly, I
did. Not obvious to me on the surface,
but pretty obvious none the less is the fact that most of the trauma the women
have experienced was at the hands of men.
So to, men must play an active role in their healing and recovery. Today we taught on building a foundation for
recovery, Bible 101, and HIV/AIDS. The
topics were received well.
Tuesday (4/29/2014)
Today, Marie Jeanne (ALARM Country Director) began by telling
a story of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was an Old
Testament prophet that heard a report that Jerusalem lay in ruins with its
walls torn down and its gates burned; he wept and fasted for days grieving the
destruction and praying that God would use him to restore Jerusalem. Marie Jeanne compared Jerusalem during the
time of Nehemiah to Congo indicating that they had too witnessed destruction. Marie Jeanne asked the conference participants
what a report of Congo would entail. One
by one, the women told stories of brutal acts of war perpetrated against them
and their families. Villages burned,
villages fled, rape, massacre of family and loved ones were threads in all the stories
we heard. These were similar stories to
my other trips even if the faces and the names are different and the tears are
fresh. Every time I make this trip, I am
challenged and almost overwhelmed by what they have seen…and the weight of what
is laid before me…before us. Only
exceeding the difficulty of what we face is the importance of facing it. Since I have been back, three themes run
through my mind. First, we need to see
our brothers and sisters and hear their stories. We can not turn away. We honor them by seeing them and loving them
and that means we must listen to them. Second,
we must advocate to them soft hearts and forgiveness even though it seems
impossible with the wounds they have suffered.
Soft hearts learning to forgive is the difference between redeemed and
broken; survivor and victim. It is for
their benefit and God’s glory that we implore forgiveness. Third, we must all work together. This is the hardest part for me. Being tribal and cynical is easy; but, it only
polarizes and it does not help. Affluent
and afflicted must sit together and realize that they can help each other and
they are not so different. Those with
Christian worldviews should need no convincing.
Others need only consider the address of their birth to realize how
different things could have been. In
embracing these themes, we must remember that we do not serve out of
obligation, but out of love (1 Corinthians 13:3).
In preparation for tomorrow, we defined sexual abuse, talked
about the importance of effective listening and learned how to defuse trauma
reactions as stories are told. A
presentation on distinguishing truth from lies was critical and would offer
many of them new beginnings as they told their stories and confronted many of
the messages and lies they had come to believe.
Wednesday (4/30/2014)
Today was the day for them to tell their stories. The women were given two options…the first
was for five or so of us that were men to not be present at all; the second was
for us to be removed from the group to the back of the room. The women chose the latter. The importance of the women feeling safe to
tell their stories was paramount. An
individual from the ALARM team, Marie Jeanne, took the lead. Mary, from the American team followed. At that point, the African participants were
supposed to break into groups of two to share their stories with one
another. But, they objected. They wanted to tell their stories to us! Looking back, I find it profound that they
preferred to share their stories through translation to five people who could
not fathom their stories as an alternative to sharing their stories with others
who could relate. I think that must be
because of the shock and tears that would come to us and the message that would
send to them. The messages were that
their stories contained horrific events and explained their predicament. What happened was not ok. It was not your fault. You are not alone. These were messages they desperately needed
to hear. This was the heaviest day,
especially for the women.
We left the conference and went to the to the IDP (Internally
Displaced People) camp. This was a place
for refugees who had to flee their villages that were being destroyed and
burned. They had been the fortunate ones as they had
made it out. There were roughly 50,000
Africans living on 45 acres in tents of some sort. The questions for the refugees and survivors
of sexual trauma were the same. What
next? Only God knows. My prayer is that they would not have to ask
it alone.
Thursday (5/1/2014)
This was the hardest day for me. I would share my story and speak on the topic
of suffering and then later on lamentation.
It is a consistent theme…God’s intent for reconciliation. Related to suffering, God places reconciliation
over happiness and as evidenced by Christ is willing to forgo happiness, even
endure great suffering, for us.
Lamentation is similar that we are to cry to God with our whole hearts and
be reconciled with Him regardless of where we are. We lament because we suffer and neither act inherently
indicates the disapproval or absence of God.
Dealing with Loneliness and Fear and Offering Forgiveness were other
topics. Theo and I left the conference
and went to the prison together. We brought
food to a population that is only fed when food is donated. We first visited and spoke to the children;
there were about 90. Then, we visited
and spoke with the women; there were about 50.
Last, we visited and spoke to the men; there were hundreds. I have been to that prison 4 times now. It is the hardest part of the trip for me and
can be overwhelming. The despair I sense
and the questions that come at me are relentless. Still, we bring food and a message that they
are not forgotten. And that testifies to
a God that sees them. Light enters dark
places…even prisons in Congo.
Friday (5/2/2014)
This is our last day.
We challenged them to take their suffering from an individual event to a
community and how that latter can bring healing to many. We discussed servant leadership and how to
serve children and families. Ministering
to others while taking care of themselves would be a challenge. But, the theme was that they did not have to
figure it out alone. The women let down their
burdens (large rocks) that they had carried all week at the cross. Repentance and hope were themes. Communion was offered. Gifts were given including material for new
dresses and a fresh start as well as hand held crosses for them to remember the
source of their hope. We had a late
lunch with our ALARM friends after the day and celebrated our time together. Tomorrow we would leave to go home.
Saturday (5/3/2014)
We were taken to the border. We hugged our friend’s necks goodbye and we
left for Kigali, Rwanda. We arrived in
Kigali and went to a genocide memorial.
This is a church that hundreds had sought refuge in only to be overtaken. Evidence of grenades and machetes could be
seen in the church walls and in the bones of the victims. The genocide happened 20 years ago. Much money and development have happened
since in Rwanda. But, the trauma is
still there and that does not go away with checks of any size. That will come down to forgiveness and
reconciliation; similar themes that we will continue to teach and continue to
learn about. Regardless of which
hemisphere or which century, it never fails to amaze me how horrible we can be
to one another. We then went to the
airport and bought some gifts along the way.
We departed home. All of us are
eager to see our families and begin to digest our trip. Still, we all left no small piece of our
hearts with our dear friends in Congo.
Our team did a great job.
Marsha, Barb, Mary, and Lindsey all set their world views aside and
allowed the beautiful people we met to penetrate their hearts in full
color. While, we don’t teach them as
much as they teach us, we can give them our presence. It is easy to shut down and not let the
stories in. It is also easy to be
overwhelmed. Our team did a beautiful
job of standing next to the women with the full capacity of what each had to
offer. They showed love
beautifully. 1st
Corinthians 13:1-3 reminds us the importance of love. More than anything we do, what remains most
important is why we do it.
13 If I speak
in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can
move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the
poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres. 8 Love never fails.