Monday, Aug 2

I have updated the blog through today...again, it is in chronological order (most recent dates at bottom). I am in Kigali on the way home and will see you soon

Pictures can be seen at

http://picasaweb.google.com/KevinDial9/2010Africa#slideshow/5501775862334736226

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Saturday-Sunday (7/24-25/2010) These two days went pretty fast and basically involved changing time zones and flying legs from Dallas to London; London to Nairobi, Kenya; and Nairobi to Kigali, Rwanda. From there we were picked up by a couple of ALARM friends, including Theo, and drove a few hours to the city of Goma which is a town on the east side of Congo bordering Rwanda. All things said, the travel was non-eventful with few flight delays and no cancellations. We did have a 7 hour layover in London and we got to go into the city for a brief view of the Thames River and London Bridge. That was kinda cool even if it happened very quickly. Once we got to Goma, we met up with our African friends from ALARM who we have served with the past couple of years. We went to Marie Jean’s home and had lunch and organized timelines/material for the week. I don’t quite know what it is that puts them so much on my heart throughout the year, but it is a joy to see their smiles, their faith, and the pure simplicity that they live in. Not simplicity as exposure to few things and tidy things, but simplicity in focus on what is important and who is important. We are staying at a new place this year which is right off Lake Kivu. As we spend all of our non-conference time on the grounds of the hotel, it helps to have a little space. The rooms are comparable to last year with the exception of (thus far…knocking on wood) dependable water and electricity, but the surroundings are beautiful with the lake in easy view and a much larger 5 acre +/- lot. It appears to be a Catholic retreat center and we are enjoying the quiet and the candles which make nice company when preparing a lesson, reading, etc. The conference begins tomorrow.

Monday (7/26/2010)

We presented the lessons today and spoke about the first two topics of the Re-engage marriage curriculum. It included “Recognizing we need God’s help” and “Expect nothing in return”. Both were designed to show that it is God who helps us and only Him who can ultimately satisfy our needs. And our challenge is to wait on timing and form that are often not what we would have willed. The attendees opened the day listing some expectations they have of the conference. These are approximately 100 Christian pastors and spouses from across the denominational spectrum within Goma and surrounding communities. Suffice to say, that Friday (our designated day to hit questions) will be very busy and that the questions and obstacles facing their churches and their marriages are amazingly similar to ours in America. Not surprising at all. During our discussions, there was some great and honest sharing from the pastors and their wives and it is all to apparent that we are wired the same, created the same, and struggle with the same. There is blessing in both sides recognizing those facts and watching the walls of preconceptions crash and with it the illusion that the sides were ever separate at all. It went very well and we will continue to do more interactive exercises and share with each other and learn from each other. This is really exciting material as there is such need for healing. And healing takes time and help and the strengthening of the family. And teaching this to pastors and their wives who are parents to their children and leaders to their congregation is a great place to start. As the times before, I am sure we will learn as much from them as they could from us. Funny, how that works.

Tuesday (7/27/2010)

Tuesday went fine. We spoke on topics of forgiveness in marriage and protecting our marriage. The exchange between us and the pastors and wives is improving and becoming about as natural as it could be given it is through translation. Forgiveness went well and we observed how the trivial issues can cause such dissension in marriages when the deeper issues they cover are not dealt with. Protecting our marriage focused on our need to work together to intentionally nurture our marriage instead of working against each other. After the conference we went back to the hotel for a quick dinner and preparation for Wednesday.

Wednesday (7/28/2010)

Wednesday was an amazing day even if it was a heavy day. We began the day speaking about service in the context of marriage and how we are called to serve each other as Christ did the church. Serving and submission to one another are lighting rod topics here just as they are in America. Unfortunately, these topics always become clouded by our brokenness and propensity to focus on ourselves before God and our spouse. Instead of breaking up into small groups of 10-12, we broke into groups of 2 (couples) including only the husband and the wife. This is where the real work began. We presented them with questions like “I feel most honored and valuable when you _____”. And “I feel least honored and valuable when you _____”. Each spouse took turns with the questions and one party spoke while the other listened. The party listening could only respond with “thank you” or a question to clarify what was said. This is a difficult, even if a healthy, exercise for marriages in America. But, in Africa the culture has many more threads of gender inequality, set gender roles, and reluctance to vulnerability within intimate relationships. But, in this context, they showed great courage to grow and desire to bring healing into their marriages and their congregation. Later in the day, we played a trust game, where we took turns blindfolding one spouse and letting the other spouse lead them around the land by the church. This was another first for them. The physical blindfolding exercise combined with the questions they answered both demonstrated the level of trust within their relationships. During the conversations as couples and in large group sharing, you could see the gentleness in how some were communicating, the heaviness in what some were hearing, and the relief in letting go. Healing does not come overnight or without work or without grace, but it can come and seeing many lay sights on it was poetic. This is probably best summarized by what one pastor called it…“A day of new beginning” and “A day of repentance”. We broached the topic of culture and how difficult it is to change it or act against it. This is exactly what will be required of them as they walk towards doing life differently than many in their culture will advocate. Fortunately, there is hope as acting against culture is not a new phenomenon to the Church as most of its history including the time of Christ and his first disciples found society standing in direct opposition to the message of Christ. To remember, we only need look as far as a cross within an empire called Rome. It testifies to the resistance of the world and the ability of Christ to overcome.

Thursday (7/29/2010)

Thursday went well. We finished the curriculum and then began a discussion on culture and the need to identify where culture influences marriage in ways that are in conflict with scripture and a loving marriage. In preparing them for the discussion on culture, we gave them a brief overview of the culture that Jesus faced when he began his ministry. It is fascinating to me how He came into a most tolerant Rome, yet into a most intolerant Pharisee and Sadducee movement. Jesus consistently challenged the rules of the Jewish culture and spoke of the heart and the need for redemption. We all know how this ended for Jesus. Still, He modeled how to enter a culture and challenge it deliberately, yet civilly. His disciples would soon have the same challenge as Gentile and Jewish believers were grafted together. Culture is powerful and resistant to change and we all have a blind spot to it that needs scrutiny; yet, there are people that have confronted culture and helped change it. We briefly discussed Luther and his confrontation of the Catholic church regarding some heretical practices, the courage of Dietrich Bonheoffer (German pastor and theologian) to stay in Germany during WWII to oppose Hitler and the persecution of the Jews when he had the chance to escape to safety in America, and we spoke about the culture in the Hutu/Tutsi conflict in Rwanda during 1995 that resulted in genocide. The message was clear that as Believers we need to know the scriptures and to love our brothers and sisters as much as we love the comforts of our own culture. And we must be able to confront culture when it acts in opposition to scripture and the teachings of Christ. The alternative to morph theology into culture is only too common and the results in history are with tremendous consequence. Tomorrow, the African pastors and spouses will spend time thinking about their culture and where it conflicts with scriptures and how they can move toward a place of identifying the shortcomings in culture and begin to be aware and make changes.

Friday (7/30/2010)

Today went amazing. We had them list the traits of their culture that they wanted to continue and the ones they wanted to challenge. That will not be an easy process, but it is well within their ability to shape. We also broke into groups separating all the men and all the women so each gender could have freedom discussing areas that were more appropriate without the other gender present. In the men’s group, the topics were what one would expect in any culture. It was apparent how much they needed to share on these topics and how we would have little more time than to scratch the surface. We challenged them to find groups of like-minded Believers that could offer counsel and keep them accountable. Then, in the large group setting we discussed some of the questions that they listed at the beginning of the conference. We finished with the testimonies of two couples that had been married for 45 years. It was amazing hearing them talk about their commitment to each other and their mutual commitment to their ministry. I think it was very important for the younger pastors to be encouraged by this as many face obstacles in communication or culture or any of the other items that can challenge a marriage. The group of pastors presented us with a sweet letter and an African shirt and dress (the shirt was for me J). They expressed their gratitude to ALARM for sponsoring the conference and to us for making the trip. It is humbling how far a little goes in Africa and how grateful the people are that we have served and served with. A little sacrifice of time and willingness to teach can change so much. We must just be willing to confront our own culture as we remember that of another. I do feel tired and am really missing Paula, Bailey, Brooke, and Braden. As I process the events of this week, my thoughts and musings are restless and not as relaxed as I would like. But, it is what is inside me. It is kind of like being adrift on stormy seas and being asked to paint a sunset over mountains. I can only paint what is in front of me. And I see questions floating to the surface and I see hard answers that are much further away than I wished. On the heels of our culture discussion, I reflect on the culture in America and see the prevalence of the prosperity gospel and the truth and people it abandons. It abandons truth by making us think we have so much to do with our blessings. It abandons others by blaming them for their lack thereof. I was listening last night to a sermon by Matt Chandler and he was speaking pointedly about it. The message of “if we have faith we will be rich, be healed, and prosper and if you don’t have the latter it is because you don’t have the former” is enticing to hear and more subtle and prevalent than we notice. It is appealing because we want a quick escape to the questions, discomfort and suffering. Yet, that gospel is heresy and is a lie and it shames those who suffer and excuses us from doing more. The early Christians knew it was not about them as they were martyred for their beliefs. Bonhoeffer recognized it as he lived the final year in a Nazi concentration camp before being hung. Those who lived under the rule of Mao and Stalin saw famine and labor camps and brutality that resulted in the deaths of almost 200 million people. Faith did not remove people from these horrors and we need to tear down any theology that teaches otherwise. Tomorrow, we will be speaking in a prison where many inmates do well to eat once a week. Again, there may be no quick relief. The suffering is more and certainly more exposed here than it is in America. And I know tomorrow, we will not be able to say anything that will take away the hunger the inmates have or the slow process of justice that all of them face even as many are innocent. I am reminded of both the power and the limitations in words and I wonder how often Christ may have been silent as He comforted people. We will bring the inmates food that should last a few days. We will tell them about Jesus and how He suffered wrongly for something He did not deserve. We will encourage them to hope in Christ. And that is enough. He is enough. That is hard to hear when the questions surround us like fire and we want answers. But, it is what we cling to. And we all cling to something. It is only a matter of what. What will be the object of our faith?

Saturday (7/31/2010)

Today, we went to the prison. There were about 1,000 inmates, up from 800 last year, up from 600-700 the year prior. We were fortunate to be able to bring them food. That went well and we presented them a message of hope. They were very thankful for the food and everything went fine. We also got to go to the women’s wing and share with them. There were about a dozen women, one nursing a baby. The babies apparently live in prison with their mother so they can be nurtured and fed. After prison, we went to the boy’s orphanage and the girl’s orphanage. We brought food to them and spent more time at the girl’s orphanage than the boy’s. The food will be a blessing to them and it was good spending time with them. It is apparent how much they long for affection and attention. We finished the day early and went back to the place we stayed. I had been deliberating all week whether I should take a swim in Lake Kivu. It is a huge lake and is more safe to swim in than most of the waters in Africa. There is a significant source of methane gas in the lake which keeps parasites and insects to a minimum. Still, I was really anxious. But, cross that off the bucket list. The day went well and all we have left is to present at church tomorrow and then we begin the journey home.

Sunday (8/1/2010)

Today, I had the opportunity to give the sermon at the church where our African ALARM Director, Marie Jean, attends. They wanted us to speak to harmony (unity) in the church which is something that is a passion of mine. Related to the message, I had the opportunity to present communion. The verse I shared was the one at the top of the blog from Philippians, chapter 2. To continue the theme of one mind, one spirit, one love, one purpose, we went to Marie Jean’s for lunch and just spent some nice time together before they dropped us off at the border to go back to Kigali, Rwanda. They said some amazingly sweet things and gave us some gifts. The impact of people visiting them does not go unsaid. They are very generous and tender and we will miss them. Their gratitude is humbling. We drove the 3 hours back to Kigali and everything went fine.

Monday (8/2/2010)

We woke up in Rwanda and went to breakfast at Bourbon Coffee which is better than Starbucks. The coffee is Rwandan and is harvested in some cases just miles from where we were. How I have missed western food. After breakfast, we went to a genocide memorial for the Rwandan genocide of 1994. This was the memorial that is in Kigali and a different one than I went to a couple of years ago. We saw exhibits that testified to the Rwandan genocide and other genocides in Germany, Armania, etc. The time at the memorial was good, but heavy and as always raised some hard questions. As seems to be typical for me, I reflected on where was God and how could He let this happen? Then, the thought came to me that it was not God who did this. And that the cruelty we can point at each other is paralyzing. I thought about how quick I am to blame God and I think that is symptomatic of how we all seem to want to blame someone when we don’t get what we want. We blame God when we don’t get what we want and that leads to anger and disbelief. Rulers blame ethnic cultures as being the roots of society’s ills and such venomous hatred leads to war and genocide. And couples blame each other when dreams are not realized. ALARM focuses on reconciliation. And reconciliation is needed in many more environments than just genocide. The message of Jesus is consistent with the message of ALARM. It must start within us. Forgiveness, redemption, and repentance must start within each of us. We must address it in our hearts before we can request it of another. As I process where my heart is, it seems that the seas are calmer now. I will be with my family soon. This is a hard trip to make. And I am very grateful to God for bringing us this far and for bringing success in our ministry. I am thankful to those of you who have supported us financially, or by prayer, or just by reading this far. We will travel for a day and be home. See you then.